Dealing with Prodigals, Pigs, and Pharisees

Family life can be incredibly challenging, especially when dealing with difficult relationships and situations. When we cry out "save my family," we need more than good intentions - we need God's wisdom and a practical plan of action.

What Does It Mean to Have God-Given Authority in Family Situations?

God has given each of us the power of choice and authority to make decisions that align with His will. However, this authority doesn't work properly without discernment, timing, and understanding of the season we're in. Many believers get burdened down trying to save everyone around them, but this often represents a misuse of our God-given authority.

The truth is, you're not the Savior - Jesus is. Your role is to exercise your authority properly by making wise choices about where to invest your time, energy, and emotional resources.

Understanding the Three Types of Difficult People

The Prodigal

The prodigal represents those who have wandered away from God and family values. They're often lost in rebellion, addiction, or destructive choices. Like the prodigal son in Jesus' parable, they need to experience the consequences of their choices to come to their senses.

The Pig

Pigs represent those with no understanding of what's truly precious and valuable. They trample pearls underfoot and can't appreciate spiritual truths or godly wisdom. Jesus specifically warned against throwing pearls before swine.

The Pharisee

Pharisees are the religious critics who point fingers and judge others while being blind to their own faults. They're often more concerned with performance and appearances than genuine heart change.

Why Traditional Approaches Often Fail

Many well-meaning family members exhaust themselves trying to fix, save, or reason with difficult people. This approach fails because:

• You're trying to be the Savior instead of trusting the real Savior
• You're focusing on the problem instead of the solution
• You're enabling destructive behavior instead of allowing natural consequences
• You're operating in toxic empathy rather than godly wisdom

The Six-Point Action Plan for Saving Your Family

1. Disengage from Futility

Stop doing things that are pointless and drain your energy. Quit trying to save prodigals, stop feeding pigs, and stop reasoning with Pharisees. Jesus didn't fix them through human effort - what makes you think you can?

2. Focus on the Root

Instead of focusing on problems, focus on Jesus - your source of life and blessing. Read His promises daily, meditate on them, and write them down. Put God's promises on sticky notes where you'll see them regularly.

3. Process Your Feelings

Don't suppress your emotions or explode inappropriately. Anger can be energy used for good when processed correctly. Write down what you feel, then give it all to God. Suppressed feelings ferment into bitterness and rage.

4. Feed Your Thinking

Be intentional about what you allow into your mind. Stop consuming toxic content that reinforces negative thinking patterns. You may need to limit social media, news consumption, or other sources of mental pollution. Instead, meditate on God's Word to get His thoughts and perspective.

5. Grow

Your assignment is to grow like a strong tree. God is glorified when you grow, and your growth is actually what prodigals, pigs, and Pharisees need to see most. Don't neglect your own spiritual development while trying to fix others.

6. Be Fruitful

God doesn't call you to perform for difficult people - He calls you to be fruitful. The root produces the fruit, so trust in Jesus' power working through you rather than trying to manufacture results through human effort.

Why the Enemy Targets Families

Satan specifically targets families because he hates God's design and wants to destroy what God loves. The devil was cast out of heaven and now projects his rejection onto human families. He uses prodigals to mock God's image, pigs to trample spiritual truths, and Pharisees to create division and condemnation.

Understanding this spiritual reality helps you recognize that the battle for your family is ultimately spiritual, not just relational or emotional.

The Power of Proper Faith and Authority

God doesn't need your voice - He needs your faith. When you pray "save my family," you're not praying as if the battle hasn't been won. Jesus already died, rose again, and is seated at the Father's right hand. The victory is complete; you're simply exercising your authority to enforce what Christ has already accomplished.

Life Application

This week, choose one person in your family who fits the prodigal, pig, or Pharisee category and implement the six-point action plan. Instead of trying to fix, save, or change them, focus on your own growth and fruitfulness. Trust God to work in their life while you concentrate on being the person He's called you to be.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Which of the six action points do I most need to implement?
• How have I been trying to be the Savior instead of trusting Jesus?
• What toxic thinking patterns do I need to stop feeding?
• How can I focus more on my own spiritual growth this week?

Remember, God loves your family even more than you do. He has a perfect plan for each person, and your job is to trust Him while you grow in your own relationship with Christ. When you change the root, you change the fruit.

~Dr. Stephen Marshall